The Big Bowl
By Joanie Buettgen
Have you ever come across something so bizarre, so large, so funny, that you take a photo of it? It happened last Saturday at Menard’s.
This newly constructed establishment was not your usual mamby-pamby discount depot. It was huge. It was jam-packed with everything that a weekend warrior would need to complete his “Honey Do” list. And it was two stories tall. I’m sure that many men would love this as a dream spot destination.
Just to give you an idea of how large it was, picture this. As we entered the store, there were four large, sliding glass doors. It was then we found ourselves staring in disbelief at the airport like tram. It was smack dab in the middle of the store. This thoroughfare was designed to carry customers to their household project supply center. This stainless steel monster took up the whole width of the store. One way-was upstairs. One-way was downstairs.
If you suffer from vertigo-you should never, ever, travel on this expressway.
On this particular Saturday, we were on a quest for household light fixtures. We have just started our Phase I Construction Project which consists of: new ceiling, new paint, new carpet.
When couples walk into a mega monster store, you should always be prepared for any large scale headache as you wind in and out of the layers of laminate, isles of bins, and ghost like sales clerks that are always on break.
To alleviate this stress, I take along a list. And stick to it. I always remember to schedule a little coffee and pie afterwards to relieve the headache which always comes.
While we were checking out paint swatches, we came across a display that shocked us.
This exhibit was in the bathroom section. As we rounded the corner we spotted the largest toilet seat imaginable. This white, waste receptacle was sitting on a throne like a Queen. The accessories included a complete surround sound bath/shower cubicle. To one side, a large print sign sat, noting its special features. Anyone who didn’t have 20/20 vision, that day, could see this display from a mile away.
I thought to myself, Does anybody really… need a toilet seat that wide?
I’m not exaggerating when I say it looked like a giant size flying saucer!
Joanie Buettgen is…
“Just another columnist trying out this new stuff.”
Published: BookTrib.com, AfterFiftyLiving.com, Café’ of Dreams, More.com, Minnesota Moments Magazine, Thankful-Home.tv, Carver County Historical Society, Kansas City BBQ Society, Carver County News, National Barn Alliance, and Ridgeview Medical Center newsletter.
Memberships: National Society of Newspaper Columnists, Toastmaster’s, Minnesota Newspaper Association, Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop.