What happened to my eyes?


English: 1950s Women's "Cats Eye" Gl...

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What happened to my eyes?

By Joanie Buettgen

On our coffee table sits three sets of eye glasses. They’re all mine. They’re there because I can’t see.

For instance, I have two pair in my chick cave/office. One set is gold rimmed, the other black. The ebony pair are close at hand, on a coffee stand, just in case I need to read. The next hot spot for my spectacles is the bedroom. I have a sexy set on my nightstand. Don’t ask me why I chose the zebra style, I just felt frisky that day.

I remember in my 30s looking at old people and thinking, “I’m never, ever, going to wear glasses that sit on the end of my nose.” I was wrong.

As I approached my 40s, I strained to read the alarm clock. I had hoped to lay blame on the early morning hours. Denial is another part of my sight problem.

A few years later, I made an appointment for the Optometrist. After the initial exam, eye dilation drops, and the final assessment, they sent me home. My pupils looked like saucers. The problem was the receptionist didn’t tell me that I needed someone to drive me home. It rained that day. It was impossible to drive my truck. There were no accidents to report.

The good news, after that appointment, was I just needed a pair of specs. I thought to myself, “This isn’t a big deal. I’ll be easy. I’ll go to Snyder’s.” Standing in the store, I found myself confused. I noticed the octagon stand with various varieties of readers to choose from. To make it more difficult there were different strengths too. Some allowed you to actually put them on your face. Others were cemented in hard plastic cases. Which were impossible to break in to. I opted for the easy way out. Off to the side, there stood a stand which allowed you to try them on. The different strengths included: 1.50, 2.25 and 300. I chose the 2.25 level. The price was 10 bucks a pop.

I left the store feeling hopeful. At home I put on the metal frames. Then they started to slide down my nose like a sled. Mark, refers to my appendage as a ski slope. Now, I knew he was right after all these years. Throughout the night I constantly batted myself in the eye. I tried to reposition them and bend the frame.

Later, I noticed that they were lopsided. I wondered if he noticed.

Of all the things I miss, as I get older, I miss my eyesight the most!

Published: More.com, Minnesota Moments Magazine, Thankful-Home.tv, Carver County Historical Society, Kansas City BBQ Society, Carver County News, National Barn Alliance, and Ridgeview Medical Center newsletter. Memberships: National Society of Newspaper Columnists, Toastmaster’s, Minnesota Newspaper Association, Erma Bombeck Writers’ Workshop attendee. Social Networking: Blog:https://joanie19.wordpress.com, http://twitter.com/joaniebuettgen, http://www.linkedin/com/in/joaniebuettgen.


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